If parents have more than one child, they tend to have favourites.
I never thought about it or at least never thought Much about it. Well, from other people's eyes, my little sister is my dad's little princess.
I've always thought it wasn't true. But maybe I was just in denial. XD Figures.
I noticed he doesn't listen to me but he listens to her. He may just agree and nod to whatever I said but he'll never do it but when my sister says something, he'll try to grant her wishes.
He's not happy when I protest but for my sister, he'd probably do anything to make her happy. Or maybe I'm just saying all this out of emotion. I'm an Aries... I let emotions take over me sometimes. D: Makes me say/do/think nonsense and regretting it later on. =_=
I didn't want her to play my laptop [Cause she downloads crap like.. Chinese writing which I ended up not knowing how to use MY OWN LAPTOP] but he pretended he needed to use it and left it downstairs for her to play with. What for? PMR is so near. She is supposed to be studying a little. Back when I was 15, he took computer away from me. Why does she have to be treated differently? It's unfair but I have to suck it up so he doesn't hate me.
It occurred to me...
That if it's about life and death... If he was to choose me or my sister... I bet with you he'll choose my sister.
She's healthier and easier to take care of while I'm a sick person and harder to take care of. It's not like I asked for it... =.=;
I don't think anyone asked to be sick anyway right? But shit happens. Suck it up. Lol.
Stand up and be strong. Do whatever you like.
People... say that to encourage but seriously, they don't know what's it's like. It's not them who is sick so they don't understand.
I'm sick of being strong but I have my pride to not make myself look weak. I may look like I need no one but in fact inside I wished for a shoulder to lean on. Like I said before... And like I told my friends...
'Everyone needs Someone.'
Even if it means those tough looking men in Navy. I'd do anything to be there if anyone needs me but I'm afraid to find someone to lean on whenever I need someone to just... listen to me.
Mum is sensitive and sometimes couldn't understand the situations I find myself in. Dad is more rational but meh... as if he listens to me.
This is why I bottle everything up. One day the contents in that bottle will overflow. I'll have to find another bottle. That's all. XD I'm a strong person. *muscle* XDD Yea, I cheer myself up when I'm sad. It's not like I have someone I could trust to talk to. The person that I talked to before... well, she's busy. XD So I don't wanna burden her.
Sucks to be me. I wonder when I'll die. In ten years? thirty? All I know is I'm not going to live until I'm eighty.
I doubt it.
I shouldn't be complaining about my dad. I think he's a great dad and I'm the luckiest person to have him as my dad. But I just wish he stopped giving whatever my sister wants. Not because I'm jealous. I swear I'm not. But it isn't like my sister is a good girl.If you give her 2 she'll want 3 instead of appreciating the 2. If you get my drift. She's a delinquent but my dad isn't doing anything about it because she's his little princess. It'd kill him to hurt her. If I did what my sister did before, I'd probably be hated and disown by now. Ha! XD
Such a depressing post after so long eh?
Well, I need to take those depressing thoughts out so I can be happy again. This is why I blog. Whether if there's someone reading it or not, at least this is where I can keep my secrets from my real life.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
It's been a while...
... since I posted.
I'm lazy and a lot happened I guess.
I'm too lazy to update. XD
Anyway...
I apologized and asked for forgiveness.
It's all up to the person.
I owe no one now.
On another note, a childhood friend of mine hasn't been contacting me. I texted but she never text back. I'm not sure if she came online but I made sure I'm on everyday now.
I wonder if it really happened. Something I dislike when a friend goes overseas to study. In the beginning there were contacts which eventually became less and less... and in the end... I became... 'was'-part-of-their-life. I really didn't want it to happen. She's one of people in my 'special' list. XD Whatever that means... it means she's one of the person I cherished the most.
I'm picky when it comes to friends.
I'm friendly but picky.
Ha. Which makes it harder for me to make friends.
But I really, really didn't want it to happen.
I may be paranoid.
Something must have happened.
I'm worried.
But maybe she's just busy after graduating.
Working and all.
Thinking back about us...
It makes me feel even lonelier.
It must be a phase.
These few days I feel so lonely despite having people around me.
I just have no idea why....
Gotta blog this, hoping the feeling would go away.
I'm lazy and a lot happened I guess.
I'm too lazy to update. XD
Anyway...
I apologized and asked for forgiveness.
It's all up to the person.
I owe no one now.
On another note, a childhood friend of mine hasn't been contacting me. I texted but she never text back. I'm not sure if she came online but I made sure I'm on everyday now.
I wonder if it really happened. Something I dislike when a friend goes overseas to study. In the beginning there were contacts which eventually became less and less... and in the end... I became... 'was'-part-of-their-life. I really didn't want it to happen. She's one of people in my 'special' list. XD Whatever that means... it means she's one of the person I cherished the most.
I'm picky when it comes to friends.
I'm friendly but picky.
Ha. Which makes it harder for me to make friends.
But I really, really didn't want it to happen.
I may be paranoid.
Something must have happened.
I'm worried.
But maybe she's just busy after graduating.
Working and all.
Thinking back about us...
It makes me feel even lonelier.
It must be a phase.
These few days I feel so lonely despite having people around me.
I just have no idea why....
Gotta blog this, hoping the feeling would go away.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Warning?
I saw an accident happen right in front of me last evening and a few hours later, another accident happen again. -_- Nothing serious though but uhm... twice a day. It's kinda freaky. I'm being paranoid.
Sigh...
Yes it's been a while since I blog.
A lot happened.
But I'm lazy.
Yea, I fail as a blogger.
Aren't I awesome~?
Sigh...
Yes it's been a while since I blog.
A lot happened.
But I'm lazy.
Yea, I fail as a blogger.
Aren't I awesome~?
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Guilty but annoyed.
Yes, that's how I currently feel.
Alan comes by so often that whenever I want one day to myself and with only my family, the chance is 0%. I don't think I can tell him that. There will be misunderstanding. Sometimes I just wish he doesn't come by for a few days. I'm just so tired of him. Yes he's my sister's boyfriend and all that but Gawd, he doesn't have to come by EVERYDAY. EVERY FUCKING DAY!
My sister's such a clingy whore... =[
It annoys me everytime he comes by now but I feel bad for feeling so. =_= I don't mind him but sometimes I want some time to myself... Without worrying about him barging in. Sometimes he just does but I don't like the fact that he just barged in without my green light. He just knocks [which is okay] and open the door. I mean... come ooonnnn.... go somewhere else with my sister or something!!
;_;
I need to rant... because these few days I've been ignoring him but I feel bad so I made myself talk to him. =<
I pitied him because he's with my sister. Other than being a clingy whore and a bitch, she's also an attention whore. D: If he said something to her to teach her things she'll start saying by oh he doesn't love her and etc... Gawd, I salute Allan for having such such huge patience but if it was me, I don't think I can last with her for a week. =/
She's annoying. She tends to fight a lot. Annoying bitch... And well, I just need some privacy... A PURE PRIVACY. Other than that my mum has been complaining to me how much they spent for him. I don't think we can afford buying food for him all the time. It's like having another family member with us. And whenever my mum asked him to eat her cooking he'll be reluctant but still eats - but not a lot but when we bought food, he finished it all. -_- Which is... again... annoying.
Besides, my dad gave him RM200 because he came here saying he wanted to buy a new phone but he had no money. It's not like he asked but my dad actually gave him RM200. An outsider... RM200. I'm not jealous... it's just unbelievable. I swear if Allan is his son, I think I'll be cast aside like trash.
I told him if he has a son, he won't love me. He said no, it'll be equal... but I shot back saying that he said that now because he doesn't have a son.
Which is true.
Alan comes by so often that whenever I want one day to myself and with only my family, the chance is 0%. I don't think I can tell him that. There will be misunderstanding. Sometimes I just wish he doesn't come by for a few days. I'm just so tired of him. Yes he's my sister's boyfriend and all that but Gawd, he doesn't have to come by EVERYDAY. EVERY FUCKING DAY!
My sister's such a clingy whore... =[
It annoys me everytime he comes by now but I feel bad for feeling so. =_= I don't mind him but sometimes I want some time to myself... Without worrying about him barging in. Sometimes he just does but I don't like the fact that he just barged in without my green light. He just knocks [which is okay] and open the door. I mean... come ooonnnn.... go somewhere else with my sister or something!!
;_;
I need to rant... because these few days I've been ignoring him but I feel bad so I made myself talk to him. =<
I pitied him because he's with my sister. Other than being a clingy whore and a bitch, she's also an attention whore. D: If he said something to her to teach her things she'll start saying by oh he doesn't love her and etc... Gawd, I salute Allan for having such such huge patience but if it was me, I don't think I can last with her for a week. =/
She's annoying. She tends to fight a lot. Annoying bitch... And well, I just need some privacy... A PURE PRIVACY. Other than that my mum has been complaining to me how much they spent for him. I don't think we can afford buying food for him all the time. It's like having another family member with us. And whenever my mum asked him to eat her cooking he'll be reluctant but still eats - but not a lot but when we bought food, he finished it all. -_- Which is... again... annoying.
Besides, my dad gave him RM200 because he came here saying he wanted to buy a new phone but he had no money. It's not like he asked but my dad actually gave him RM200. An outsider... RM200. I'm not jealous... it's just unbelievable. I swear if Allan is his son, I think I'll be cast aside like trash.
I told him if he has a son, he won't love me. He said no, it'll be equal... but I shot back saying that he said that now because he doesn't have a son.
Which is true.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
It's one of those special days.
Yeap, that's right.
Special day for mothers.
Happy Mother's Day~!
It's one of those days when mothers are treated like queen but I assumed that it will all go back to normal again once the clock strikes 12am. Isn't it? Today is one of those days when her kids will clean up the whole house and a little break from cooking. This is the day all mothers wish they have everyday.
Last night I went for a last minute shopping for my mum. Well, I had no idea what to buy for her. She has a lot of bags and accessories already. As for clothes, I found nothing that suits her. So I ended up buying her a cup. I'll take a picture of it when I have the chance or when I'm up for it.
Currently, it's raining heavily - the weather I wished for everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. It's a weather that I love the most. I'm not complaining. I love sitting in the living room with the door wide open and the wind blowing it. I love the sound of the rain which seems to be calming for me. I love reading a novel with a cup of hot chocolate while enjoying the cooling breeze that swept in once in a while. Yeap, I LOVE rain.
Sunny days makes me lazy and grumpy. And ew-wy....
I sound like an old lady.
Other than just cups, Allan bought her the hanging accessories thing. And on the way back, we bought her a red daisy. One for his mum, one for mine. Despite that Allan is not related to my mum at all, he chipped in to buy her the presents. A small part but to me, it's huge. Why? Because my sister, the ungrateful dog, not only didn't chipped in but Allan had to FORCE HER to say 'Happy Mother's Day' to mum. FORCE. Her OWN mother.
It all started when I needed Allan to follow me to Spring. She doesn't like it when I go out with Allan but I needed to. Other wise, I won't even bother to ask. =/ I did not know how big the present Allan bought for my mum and I was searching for a box to put it in. From the moment we stepped out of the house, she showed me how angry she is. And Allan had to please her all the time. I was so angry inside I amost wanted to slap her in public. Such a bitch. She thinks she's so 'Your Highness'. Fuck that. Can't wait to get rid of her.
I'm really disappointed at her last night. I thought she could change into a better person but now I doubt. Gave her many chance but she blew it every single time.
After being forced by Allan, she reluctantly walked up to my mother and said in a very soft, low, unhappy voice 'Happy Mother's Day' and stomped off in the living room. Seeing that I rather her to shut the fuck up than to say something now. It's not from the bottom of her heart that she said it. It's because she was forced to. Allan was unhappy too and he followed her. After that I paid no attention to them as I was attending to my mum who did not let that let her down. She was commenting on the present and the flower. =] I'm glad that she likes them. It was then I saw Allan walked out of the house and slammed the door close followed by my sister. I knew something was wrong. He was unhappy with how my sister treated my mother. =/ Well she deserved it.
Such a drama and selfish queen.
My mum said it's better to treat the kitten nicer than my sister. I'm not sure if I should call her my sister anymore. She hates me so much that I'm sure if she has the chance, she'll stab me in my sleep. Thus, why I lock the door most of the times. It is true when my mum said that even though we cut our heads for her, she'll remain ungrateful.
Not only she's an ungrateful bitch, she's also a thief.
Things tend to 'disappear' from this house.
We caught her red handed a few times.
Yeap, I'm living with a thief... parhaps a professional one in the future.
That's how much hope I put on her.
That little.
Cause after last night, I guess I can say it's beyond disappointment.
A sister's love for her...
I guess it's wasted.
I think I should stop wasting my energy on her.
I'm really tired of trying to make her happy.
It's never enough for her.
My parents said it's fated to adopt her...
Otherwise, they would never do it.
I guess we all regretted it a lot.
Special day for mothers.
Happy Mother's Day~!
It's one of those days when mothers are treated like queen but I assumed that it will all go back to normal again once the clock strikes 12am. Isn't it? Today is one of those days when her kids will clean up the whole house and a little break from cooking. This is the day all mothers wish they have everyday.
Last night I went for a last minute shopping for my mum. Well, I had no idea what to buy for her. She has a lot of bags and accessories already. As for clothes, I found nothing that suits her. So I ended up buying her a cup. I'll take a picture of it when I have the chance or when I'm up for it.
Currently, it's raining heavily - the weather I wished for everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. It's a weather that I love the most. I'm not complaining. I love sitting in the living room with the door wide open and the wind blowing it. I love the sound of the rain which seems to be calming for me. I love reading a novel with a cup of hot chocolate while enjoying the cooling breeze that swept in once in a while. Yeap, I LOVE rain.
Sunny days makes me lazy and grumpy. And ew-wy....
I sound like an old lady.
Other than just cups, Allan bought her the hanging accessories thing. And on the way back, we bought her a red daisy. One for his mum, one for mine. Despite that Allan is not related to my mum at all, he chipped in to buy her the presents. A small part but to me, it's huge. Why? Because my sister, the ungrateful dog, not only didn't chipped in but Allan had to FORCE HER to say 'Happy Mother's Day' to mum. FORCE. Her OWN mother.
It all started when I needed Allan to follow me to Spring. She doesn't like it when I go out with Allan but I needed to. Other wise, I won't even bother to ask. =/ I did not know how big the present Allan bought for my mum and I was searching for a box to put it in. From the moment we stepped out of the house, she showed me how angry she is. And Allan had to please her all the time. I was so angry inside I amost wanted to slap her in public. Such a bitch. She thinks she's so 'Your Highness'. Fuck that. Can't wait to get rid of her.
I'm really disappointed at her last night. I thought she could change into a better person but now I doubt. Gave her many chance but she blew it every single time.
After being forced by Allan, she reluctantly walked up to my mother and said in a very soft, low, unhappy voice 'Happy Mother's Day' and stomped off in the living room. Seeing that I rather her to shut the fuck up than to say something now. It's not from the bottom of her heart that she said it. It's because she was forced to. Allan was unhappy too and he followed her. After that I paid no attention to them as I was attending to my mum who did not let that let her down. She was commenting on the present and the flower. =] I'm glad that she likes them. It was then I saw Allan walked out of the house and slammed the door close followed by my sister. I knew something was wrong. He was unhappy with how my sister treated my mother. =/ Well she deserved it.
Such a drama and selfish queen.
My mum said it's better to treat the kitten nicer than my sister. I'm not sure if I should call her my sister anymore. She hates me so much that I'm sure if she has the chance, she'll stab me in my sleep. Thus, why I lock the door most of the times. It is true when my mum said that even though we cut our heads for her, she'll remain ungrateful.
Not only she's an ungrateful bitch, she's also a thief.
Things tend to 'disappear' from this house.
We caught her red handed a few times.
Yeap, I'm living with a thief... parhaps a professional one in the future.
That's how much hope I put on her.
That little.
Cause after last night, I guess I can say it's beyond disappointment.
A sister's love for her...
I guess it's wasted.
I think I should stop wasting my energy on her.
I'm really tired of trying to make her happy.
It's never enough for her.
My parents said it's fated to adopt her...
Otherwise, they would never do it.
I guess we all regretted it a lot.
Friday, May 7, 2010
I would have do it if I have the guts.
Just came back from the hospital not too long ago.
Today my mum told me that I'm a burden to her. I know.
I said that if I die her life would be so much easier.
She replied that I said it, not her.
She didn't disagree.
Which means... she agreed that her life would be so much easier if I am not here anymore.
Well, gotta suck it up.
I would have commit suicide a long time ago if I have the guts to do it.
I would have so done it.
Then everything will be okay for her.
Sure, there will be crying for my death.
But that won't last long.
I doubt it will anyway. XD
I don't think I play a big part in anyone's life.
My existence is just there.
And that's it.
I'm the huge rock in my parents' life.
And maybe just a friend to everybody else.
Yea, this post is emo.
Can't help it ya know.
When you have your own mother always telling you how tired she is of taking care of you.
Inside I'm angry.
Mostly at myself.
I would have talked to dad.
Cause he understands things instead of just assuming things like mum.
But I couldn't have done it without crying.
But I refused to cry.
So I said nothing.
Mum has always been negative.
When your motive is for the best despite that it went against her, she thinks of the worst.
That's just how she is.
I'm not trying to make her sound like a bad mother.
In fact, she's great!
But there are flaws in everybody.
Including the people you love the most in the whole world.
Mum's flaws are that she's really selfish.
She never put herself in other people's shoes before commenting or taking an action.
Sometimes I'm just fed up with her negativity.
It's not like I want to be rude to her. I'm just fed up of arguing cause at the end of it, it goes back round to her again.
She's self pity. =/ Which i despise most of the time.
She doesn't know her own schedule.
She waits for us for five minutes but told us she has been waiting for the past 15 - 30 minutes but when we waited for her for more than 15 minutes, she said we just called her five minutes ago. Wow... Just.. a bad wow.... Or she would use the excuse oh how busy she is and ya da ya da. When she waited, we might be busy too but no we didn't complain! We shut the hell up cause again, at the end of the day, she would say that we should have called her later cause she has tons of work to do at home. What tons of work? She's able to rest for the whole afternoon most of the days. How about those who work outside and is only able to handle things at home after 5?
Sometimes... She gives me the mental stress.
Which leads to depression.
And depression ,made me feel like keeping everything on my own.
Me and her, we can't settle down and talk.
She's over sensitive.
Dad has always been the middle man.
Now dad's flaws...
He's the best dad in the world but again, like everybody else, he has his day.
But he doesn't give me as much stress as my mum.
It's just that he likes to do things the last minute and is always in a hurry.
And he would get frustrated and be all PMS-ing. XD
He likes to nag too but not as much as my mum.
When mum nags, my ears bleed.
You get the point.
As for my sister....
She can be nice...
But most of the time...
she's a bitch.
End of story.
Well, there's someone who has been spreading rumours about my parents, especially my mother... Bad mouthing her and shiz.
Despite all the complains I said above, she has always been a great mum.
And she has always been the reason I kept on picking myself up whenever I fall.
Sure, when she said that I'm a burden to her, it's out of frustration. She's weak, health and mental-wise.
When she's frustrated, the world for me has always been dark cause somehow I ended up being pulled into her frustration.
When her world is bright, my world is the sun. That bright, Uh-huh.
Everyone has their arguments and debates with their mum.
And dad...
I know that he always has my back.
He will always be the one supporting.
In fact, he's the one who held my hand when I was trying to pick myself up from my long fall.
He's also one of the reasons why I am here today.
My sister... yea, I despised her sometimes.
But i had my good times with her too.
When she was sick, I wanted to take care of her. =\ Instead of letting her rot at one corner like all evil sisters should do. XD!
So in a way, I love her.
But when I say I hate her... and that I meant it...
I don't.
You know... I have always think that...
When I die, I want my parents to read this blog.
This is where all my thoughts are.
Everything.
Today my mum told me that I'm a burden to her. I know.
I said that if I die her life would be so much easier.
She replied that I said it, not her.
She didn't disagree.
Which means... she agreed that her life would be so much easier if I am not here anymore.
Well, gotta suck it up.
I would have commit suicide a long time ago if I have the guts to do it.
I would have so done it.
Then everything will be okay for her.
Sure, there will be crying for my death.
But that won't last long.
I doubt it will anyway. XD
I don't think I play a big part in anyone's life.
My existence is just there.
And that's it.
I'm the huge rock in my parents' life.
And maybe just a friend to everybody else.
Yea, this post is emo.
Can't help it ya know.
When you have your own mother always telling you how tired she is of taking care of you.
Inside I'm angry.
Mostly at myself.
I would have talked to dad.
Cause he understands things instead of just assuming things like mum.
But I couldn't have done it without crying.
But I refused to cry.
So I said nothing.
Mum has always been negative.
When your motive is for the best despite that it went against her, she thinks of the worst.
That's just how she is.
I'm not trying to make her sound like a bad mother.
In fact, she's great!
But there are flaws in everybody.
Including the people you love the most in the whole world.
Mum's flaws are that she's really selfish.
She never put herself in other people's shoes before commenting or taking an action.
Sometimes I'm just fed up with her negativity.
It's not like I want to be rude to her. I'm just fed up of arguing cause at the end of it, it goes back round to her again.
She's self pity. =/ Which i despise most of the time.
She doesn't know her own schedule.
She waits for us for five minutes but told us she has been waiting for the past 15 - 30 minutes but when we waited for her for more than 15 minutes, she said we just called her five minutes ago. Wow... Just.. a bad wow.... Or she would use the excuse oh how busy she is and ya da ya da. When she waited, we might be busy too but no we didn't complain! We shut the hell up cause again, at the end of the day, she would say that we should have called her later cause she has tons of work to do at home. What tons of work? She's able to rest for the whole afternoon most of the days. How about those who work outside and is only able to handle things at home after 5?
Sometimes... She gives me the mental stress.
Which leads to depression.
And depression ,made me feel like keeping everything on my own.
Me and her, we can't settle down and talk.
She's over sensitive.
Dad has always been the middle man.
Now dad's flaws...
He's the best dad in the world but again, like everybody else, he has his day.
But he doesn't give me as much stress as my mum.
It's just that he likes to do things the last minute and is always in a hurry.
And he would get frustrated and be all PMS-ing. XD
He likes to nag too but not as much as my mum.
When mum nags, my ears bleed.
You get the point.
As for my sister....
She can be nice...
But most of the time...
she's a bitch.
End of story.
Well, there's someone who has been spreading rumours about my parents, especially my mother... Bad mouthing her and shiz.
Despite all the complains I said above, she has always been a great mum.
And she has always been the reason I kept on picking myself up whenever I fall.
Sure, when she said that I'm a burden to her, it's out of frustration. She's weak, health and mental-wise.
When she's frustrated, the world for me has always been dark cause somehow I ended up being pulled into her frustration.
When her world is bright, my world is the sun. That bright, Uh-huh.
Everyone has their arguments and debates with their mum.
And dad...
I know that he always has my back.
He will always be the one supporting.
In fact, he's the one who held my hand when I was trying to pick myself up from my long fall.
He's also one of the reasons why I am here today.
My sister... yea, I despised her sometimes.
But i had my good times with her too.
When she was sick, I wanted to take care of her. =\ Instead of letting her rot at one corner like all evil sisters should do. XD!
So in a way, I love her.
But when I say I hate her... and that I meant it...
I don't.
You know... I have always think that...
When I die, I want my parents to read this blog.
This is where all my thoughts are.
Everything.
When will it end?
Just a few days ago, I almost had the perfect smooth skin that I've always wanted. I tried hard to make it as smooth and fair as possible. Almost succeed [Almost dared to go out in shorts again] then BAM!! Rashes came back again. All happened overnight. Why the fuck it happened? Because I took this new medicine. Ew. WTF! Back to square one.... -_-; !@#$%^&*
I'm getting really really frustrated with this whole skin issue. It's like 'ddduuuddeee you're not meant to have smooth skin!'. D: Fuck you.
Last night, me and Nini went to watch Ip Man 2. I love it! XD Jeeze... I missed Ip Man 1 though. Why? Cause when I first saw the poster, I thought it's some stupid hero show...like the Cicak Man or something. And I thought it's pronounce I.P man as in man itself. But it's actually a name... pronounced Yip Man... Man pronounced as Man from the word 'manja'. But just yesterday I found out it's actually about Bruce Lee's master. Now I'm really interested in that. Movies based on true stories have always been intriguing to me. XD Of course there are some modifying going on but still, there are facts in there.
I didn't yawn or get distracted for the whole movie. It's the actions and the sound tracks that made me so pumped up. XD I'd give it 4.8 out of 5 which is something I rarely give to a movie. What's lacking is that... I noticed the students were wearing very modernized clothes... I feel so dumb now but do they actually have beanie in the old days? o.O;;
Anyway, I think it's a movie worth recommending. XD Next movie that I'm looking forward to...
Toy Story 3! XD!!
And POTC 4. >_> But's it's next year so... =|
Yea so...
Just finished downloading Ip Man 1...
So...
Bye!
I'm getting really really frustrated with this whole skin issue. It's like 'ddduuuddeee you're not meant to have smooth skin!'. D: Fuck you.
Last night, me and Nini went to watch Ip Man 2. I love it! XD Jeeze... I missed Ip Man 1 though. Why? Cause when I first saw the poster, I thought it's some stupid hero show...like the Cicak Man or something. And I thought it's pronounce I.P man as in man itself. But it's actually a name... pronounced Yip Man... Man pronounced as Man from the word 'manja'. But just yesterday I found out it's actually about Bruce Lee's master. Now I'm really interested in that. Movies based on true stories have always been intriguing to me. XD Of course there are some modifying going on but still, there are facts in there.
I didn't yawn or get distracted for the whole movie. It's the actions and the sound tracks that made me so pumped up. XD I'd give it 4.8 out of 5 which is something I rarely give to a movie. What's lacking is that... I noticed the students were wearing very modernized clothes... I feel so dumb now but do they actually have beanie in the old days? o.O;;
Anyway, I think it's a movie worth recommending. XD Next movie that I'm looking forward to...
Toy Story 3! XD!!
And POTC 4. >_> But's it's next year so... =|
Yea so...
Just finished downloading Ip Man 1...
So...
Bye!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Second post of the day~!
Yea, I've been blogging lately. I don't know why. @_@
No, I'm not bored. At least I don't feel bored. X3
But I guess it's the blogging phase again.
And I know no one's reading it.
But it's nice to type down my thoughts.
At the end of the day, I can sleep with an empty mind.
If I have to choose an anime to be in, I'd definitely pick Ouran High School Host Club. It seems very worry-free there and well, the characters seemed like the type that would have your back no matter what once you get on their good side. Like a guaranteed protection. That's what I need. Friends I know I can trust. But people nowadays, all they know is to take advantage of another person. Then after they get what they want, that person is thrown aside. Society today is immoral and corrupted. Easily bribe. Easily supporting the winning side just to save their skin.
Loyalty is in extinction.
Mother's day is coming. Allan and me planned to buy my mother a gift. He suggested cake at first but I told him my mum isn't a fan of it. We continued to think and in the end I went in googles to search for some suggestion. Then Allan suggested to buy her a jewelry hanging... thing. It's a body of a woman but it's something we can use to hang our accesories like necklaces, bracelets, watches, earrings, rings and etc. Since my mother has a lot of those, he suggested to buy just that so it's easier for her to find for the things she wants to wear. Today while he's out to celebrate his birthday... yes, falls on the 5th May, he hunted down for that thing too. Even sent pictures for me to choose from. Currently he's still on the search. XD
Just received pictures from him again and I decided on one with the sky blue, black with a bit of golden on the dress. When I have the chance I'll be taking a picture of it.
Princess had her second shot. The doctor said she's very well fed. Of course, look at the tummy. -_- my mum thought she was pregnant. But she's too young to be. XD When she got home she was still hyper but after an hour or two, she started getting very sleepy and slept for a few hours before going back to being hyper again. She's a good exercise for me everyday. >_>; Every time I have to handle her, I'm always perspiring! D:
Her favourite food was tuna from the can but now she wants chicken. >_>; Such a fussy little kitty. But cute! Whee~!! Some of her fur's getting darker and there's a new patch beside her eye. Part of her face turned a little dark brown but not so dark. It's really light but that one patch above her eye is getting darker. I wondered if she'll end up with a dark face. <_<;>_<; Me wuv her!
No, I'm not bored. At least I don't feel bored. X3
But I guess it's the blogging phase again.
And I know no one's reading it.
But it's nice to type down my thoughts.
At the end of the day, I can sleep with an empty mind.
If I have to choose an anime to be in, I'd definitely pick Ouran High School Host Club. It seems very worry-free there and well, the characters seemed like the type that would have your back no matter what once you get on their good side. Like a guaranteed protection. That's what I need. Friends I know I can trust. But people nowadays, all they know is to take advantage of another person. Then after they get what they want, that person is thrown aside. Society today is immoral and corrupted. Easily bribe. Easily supporting the winning side just to save their skin.
Loyalty is in extinction.
Mother's day is coming. Allan and me planned to buy my mother a gift. He suggested cake at first but I told him my mum isn't a fan of it. We continued to think and in the end I went in googles to search for some suggestion. Then Allan suggested to buy her a jewelry hanging... thing. It's a body of a woman but it's something we can use to hang our accesories like necklaces, bracelets, watches, earrings, rings and etc. Since my mother has a lot of those, he suggested to buy just that so it's easier for her to find for the things she wants to wear. Today while he's out to celebrate his birthday... yes, falls on the 5th May, he hunted down for that thing too. Even sent pictures for me to choose from. Currently he's still on the search. XD
Just received pictures from him again and I decided on one with the sky blue, black with a bit of golden on the dress. When I have the chance I'll be taking a picture of it.
Princess had her second shot. The doctor said she's very well fed. Of course, look at the tummy. -_- my mum thought she was pregnant. But she's too young to be. XD When she got home she was still hyper but after an hour or two, she started getting very sleepy and slept for a few hours before going back to being hyper again. She's a good exercise for me everyday. >_>; Every time I have to handle her, I'm always perspiring! D:
Her favourite food was tuna from the can but now she wants chicken. >_>; Such a fussy little kitty. But cute! Whee~!! Some of her fur's getting darker and there's a new patch beside her eye. Part of her face turned a little dark brown but not so dark. It's really light but that one patch above her eye is getting darker. I wondered if she'll end up with a dark face. <_<;>_<; Me wuv her!
Mornin'
For the past few weeks, I've been making it a habit to wake up at 6, if not 5 something in the morning every weekdays and on weekends, 8.30 or the latest 9. This morning, I woke up at 5 sharp. I made my bed and opened the windows, expecting to have a gush of cool fresh morning air that I used to always feel a few years back.
Nothing.
The air was stuffy and warm.
I'm actually worried.
I wish it rains heavily everyday.
=/
I never complain about the weather on year end when it was always raining.
Now, you can almost hear me complaining about how hot and stuffy the weather is.
Gosh... global warming is scary.
When are they going to wake up?
We've been using lesser air cond compared to last time.
We need it though.
Because it's so hot.
But I was thinking...
The hotter the weather is, the more air cond will be blasting.
Thus, the global warming continues.
-_-
This is never going to end.
And it's actually scary...
D:
Just checked the weather forecast.
Said there's a chance that it will rain.
I HOPE SO!!!!!!!!!!!
AMEN!!!!
Nothing.
The air was stuffy and warm.
I'm actually worried.
I wish it rains heavily everyday.
=/
I never complain about the weather on year end when it was always raining.
Now, you can almost hear me complaining about how hot and stuffy the weather is.
Gosh... global warming is scary.
When are they going to wake up?
We've been using lesser air cond compared to last time.
We need it though.
Because it's so hot.
But I was thinking...
The hotter the weather is, the more air cond will be blasting.
Thus, the global warming continues.
-_-
This is never going to end.
And it's actually scary...
D:
Just checked the weather forecast.
Said there's a chance that it will rain.
I HOPE SO!!!!!!!!!!!
AMEN!!!!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Ceh....
Alan fixed it! >_>; Thank goodness.
Smart boi~!
Whee!
Small problem...
The memory card's dirty...
And we can't see them.
So he used an eraser and rubbed it gently.
Then put it back in and then ta da!
Sigh...
I guess it's useful to start working when we're still young. A lot of experience to share!
On a side note, I had a weird dream last night... Then again all dreams are weird.
I dreamed that I was a blue ranger. XD Yes, from Power Rangers. My childhood heroes. XD!!!
But yes it was weird... but I wasn't a blue ranger the whole way. I was another ranger which I forgot who... But I know I was a male for the whole dream and I'm hot! XD!!! Shyeah~!
In the middle of the dream though, I ended up saving blue ranger.... And I was seriously injured. Then Pink Ranger helped me to this... huge car drove by this guy from CSI New York... forgot his name but he's my favourite leader in CSIs. He's the leader for Power Rangers... XD!!! I forgot how it ended though...
Dad's working night shift tonight~! It's going to be just me, mum and mah sistah~!
Smart boi~!
Whee!
Small problem...
The memory card's dirty...
And we can't see them.
So he used an eraser and rubbed it gently.
Then put it back in and then ta da!
Sigh...
I guess it's useful to start working when we're still young. A lot of experience to share!
On a side note, I had a weird dream last night... Then again all dreams are weird.
I dreamed that I was a blue ranger. XD Yes, from Power Rangers. My childhood heroes. XD!!!
But yes it was weird... but I wasn't a blue ranger the whole way. I was another ranger which I forgot who... But I know I was a male for the whole dream and I'm hot! XD!!! Shyeah~!
In the middle of the dream though, I ended up saving blue ranger.... And I was seriously injured. Then Pink Ranger helped me to this... huge car drove by this guy from CSI New York... forgot his name but he's my favourite leader in CSIs. He's the leader for Power Rangers... XD!!! I forgot how it ended though...
Dad's working night shift tonight~! It's going to be just me, mum and mah sistah~!
Ever feel like...
... You're the unluckiest person in the world?
I just did.
Sigh.
I know there are people far worst than me but I just can't help thinking ya know.
Something happened to my birthday present. In less than a month, I've visited the shop two to three times for repair.I just went to the shop yesterday to get things repaired. First of all, it's the fucking left arrow. I didn't touch the fucking arrow and it just went to the left by itself. Thus this is why I kept dying in games. Fuck that. Second, it refused to read the fucking memory card thousands of times and I got really fed up with it trying to switch it on and off and taking in and out the card just to get it read. It still refused to work even after ten times and right after I almost felt like I just want to give up on it, it started. Okay, happy... but not even ten minutes of playing it, there it goes again. The card somehow couldn't connect to the fucking device. What is that? What shit is that? After taking in and out the card shit, it refused to start and went to this recovery menu shit. I don't hear my friends complain about that shit. No, never. Their games and shit seems fiiiinnnee but not me... ooohhh nnooo... the God of Gadgets just loved to pick on me. I spent half an hour to an hour waiting for that nice man to get it fix. Yea sure everything's fine.... but not even for five hours... the card reading problem happened again. I got it fix MYSELF but this morning, no matter how many times I took it out and in, it just refused to read it. WTF WTF WTF. YOU ASS. I love this thing but... sometimes I just want to throw it against the wall. Not that it would help. Gah! I'm beyond frustration at the moment! Bitch! Bastard! Dickhead! GAH!!!! And I don't even know who I'm aiming that at... =/
ANnd ooo yes, my friends got it at a so much lower price. I bought it way later than them and the price just have to... shhhooot up! And somehow the quality is shitty or I'm just that unlucky. Fuh.
Sometimes I'm sooooo the drama but I just gotta rant.
Damn it.
Damn Sony!
I just did.
Sigh.
I know there are people far worst than me but I just can't help thinking ya know.
Something happened to my birthday present. In less than a month, I've visited the shop two to three times for repair.I just went to the shop yesterday to get things repaired. First of all, it's the fucking left arrow. I didn't touch the fucking arrow and it just went to the left by itself. Thus this is why I kept dying in games. Fuck that. Second, it refused to read the fucking memory card thousands of times and I got really fed up with it trying to switch it on and off and taking in and out the card just to get it read. It still refused to work even after ten times and right after I almost felt like I just want to give up on it, it started. Okay, happy... but not even ten minutes of playing it, there it goes again. The card somehow couldn't connect to the fucking device. What is that? What shit is that? After taking in and out the card shit, it refused to start and went to this recovery menu shit. I don't hear my friends complain about that shit. No, never. Their games and shit seems fiiiinnnee but not me... ooohhh nnooo... the God of Gadgets just loved to pick on me. I spent half an hour to an hour waiting for that nice man to get it fix. Yea sure everything's fine.... but not even for five hours... the card reading problem happened again. I got it fix MYSELF but this morning, no matter how many times I took it out and in, it just refused to read it. WTF WTF WTF. YOU ASS. I love this thing but... sometimes I just want to throw it against the wall. Not that it would help. Gah! I'm beyond frustration at the moment! Bitch! Bastard! Dickhead! GAH!!!! And I don't even know who I'm aiming that at... =/
ANnd ooo yes, my friends got it at a so much lower price. I bought it way later than them and the price just have to... shhhooot up! And somehow the quality is shitty or I'm just that unlucky. Fuh.
Sometimes I'm sooooo the drama but I just gotta rant.
Damn it.
Damn Sony!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
⊙▂⊙
Another day, another post!
These few days, little Princess was being so naughty. D: She kept going out to fight big cats and actually won... >_>; Wtf... The first time she fought, she came back with a lot of injuries. I mean, what do you expect? A kitten versus two big fat fugly looking cats. D: That was the first and last time she came back with injuries. -_-; She started going out for fights when she knew the way to the back of the house. u_u; And most cats are there instead of front. They only go to the front to get her food. >_<>_> She rests in the afternoon though, most of the time. A nap or just watch TV. Sometimes just laze around for the whole afternoon if there's nothing else to do. Sometimes I feel stressed just listening to her complain. -_-; It makes me feel like I'm a huge burden to her which is true... Sigh...
And dad does the unnecessary -_- Sure, he needs to work but who the hell mops the house three times a day?!!! Everyday!!! Wasted our time too!! And I think dad needs to help her to do things like... Accompany her out for settling things or just shopping. But no, all he knows is work, work, work. Even public holidays. =/ I see people's dad taking them out for a family time. We hardly have that. Most of the times we don't eat meals together. This family just doesn't have the family feeling anymore. I used to eat at my friend's house sometimes and just sitting there with her and family makes me happy cause there was a conversation going even if it's just pointless. But the feeling is nice. I envy her for having such a nice family. Sometimes they argued and debated. But my parents and I, we're so individual-ish. Most of the times I eat meals alone. X3 Not that I mind. I just wish we could eat together sometimes. e_e;; Sure, I get what I want. Gadgets, money and etc but I can never have what money can't buy.
A real family.
We may look happy together outside -- to other people. In fact, inside this house, everyone's lonely. Sad to say, the only thing that keeps this thing together is a little naughty, mischievous Siamese. -_- She's sho cute! Sqqquuueeezzzeeee!!! >_<
Despite all those complains, I still love my family to death!
On a brighter note [I think], I've been downloading movies! Yeap! The internet line has been ungraded so it's been easier for me to download them. Depending on the size of the movie... say... 700mb, it can be done by 1 hour+ but mostly 2 to 3 hours~! I've downloaded a lot of comedies cause that's what I prefer than those slow, romantic ones or those lots of talking ones. D: I've been picky too! I think after Titanic, Leonardo Dicaprio's movies are all... like a cure for insomnia. If ye get whut I mean... ;D But movies like... The Toothfairy, The Game Plan or Bruce Almighty!
Yea, movies like those... keep 'em coming.
But movies like... Sherlock Holmes or The imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus or Last Chance Harvey... I skipped... D: Lots of talking. -_-; Just... no...
They don't give me the 'Ooh what happens next' moment. D: Oh wellz~!
On a side note, thanks to my sister's boyfriend, she has become a better person... Still bitchy but better. But there's one thing that I really dislike about him. He's really nosy.... D:
And today little Princess is going to get her second shot. D: Poor thing....
Buh.... that is all. XD For today.
These few days, little Princess was being so naughty. D: She kept going out to fight big cats and actually won... >_>; Wtf... The first time she fought, she came back with a lot of injuries. I mean, what do you expect? A kitten versus two big fat fugly looking cats. D: That was the first and last time she came back with injuries. -_-; She started going out for fights when she knew the way to the back of the house. u_u; And most cats are there instead of front. They only go to the front to get her food. >_<>_> She rests in the afternoon though, most of the time. A nap or just watch TV. Sometimes just laze around for the whole afternoon if there's nothing else to do. Sometimes I feel stressed just listening to her complain. -_-; It makes me feel like I'm a huge burden to her which is true... Sigh...
And dad does the unnecessary -_- Sure, he needs to work but who the hell mops the house three times a day?!!! Everyday!!! Wasted our time too!! And I think dad needs to help her to do things like... Accompany her out for settling things or just shopping. But no, all he knows is work, work, work. Even public holidays. =/ I see people's dad taking them out for a family time. We hardly have that. Most of the times we don't eat meals together. This family just doesn't have the family feeling anymore. I used to eat at my friend's house sometimes and just sitting there with her and family makes me happy cause there was a conversation going even if it's just pointless. But the feeling is nice. I envy her for having such a nice family. Sometimes they argued and debated. But my parents and I, we're so individual-ish. Most of the times I eat meals alone. X3 Not that I mind. I just wish we could eat together sometimes. e_e;; Sure, I get what I want. Gadgets, money and etc but I can never have what money can't buy.
A real family.
We may look happy together outside -- to other people. In fact, inside this house, everyone's lonely. Sad to say, the only thing that keeps this thing together is a little naughty, mischievous Siamese. -_- She's sho cute! Sqqquuueeezzzeeee!!! >_<
Despite all those complains, I still love my family to death!
On a brighter note [I think], I've been downloading movies! Yeap! The internet line has been ungraded so it's been easier for me to download them. Depending on the size of the movie... say... 700mb, it can be done by 1 hour+ but mostly 2 to 3 hours~! I've downloaded a lot of comedies cause that's what I prefer than those slow, romantic ones or those lots of talking ones. D: I've been picky too! I think after Titanic, Leonardo Dicaprio's movies are all... like a cure for insomnia. If ye get whut I mean... ;D But movies like... The Toothfairy, The Game Plan or Bruce Almighty!
Yea, movies like those... keep 'em coming.
But movies like... Sherlock Holmes or The imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus or Last Chance Harvey... I skipped... D: Lots of talking. -_-; Just... no...
They don't give me the 'Ooh what happens next' moment. D: Oh wellz~!
On a side note, thanks to my sister's boyfriend, she has become a better person... Still bitchy but better. But there's one thing that I really dislike about him. He's really nosy.... D:
And today little Princess is going to get her second shot. D: Poor thing....
Buh.... that is all. XD For today.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Decided!
Aha... I've finally decided to study again. And this time I'm going to study a different degree. I don't think multimedia is suitable for me. Hey, what can I say? A few years back, just out of high school with no knowledge about courses and universities. I just took what interest me the most. Computers.
And so we [me & dad] went around, focusing only on courses related to computers. What about coding and designing? Okay, I know a bit of coding and designing... well, I think I'm creative enough. It wouldn't be so hard now is it? I was very wrong about that. Coding, well, I don't have any trouble with that. My problem was designing. Bleugh. I had big trouble with it. Major trouble. With due dates coming up, I still had no idea. Sure, I had the theme in mind but the patterns and such... phew, it was hard. Another problem with me was that I am never satisfied with my own work. I'm satisfied with others, no matter how simple they are. With due dates coming so near, I had to do something. I started designing. BUT I kept changing my mind. Hours of working on a design and a second to delete it. Hyuu~! In the end, I passed the date. -_-; Fuuuccckkk!!
With my experiences in college before, I now know what I have to do to find the suitable subject for me. Actual interest was a major in English. However, it's unavailable here. Boo! I'm still researching about this course I plan to take though. XD But I'm pretty sure I'm going back again. =]
Sad to say, the next intake will be this August. Probably about another 4 months to waste. But I planned to do something - maybe get a part time job while waiting. But first I have to finish my driving lessons and test. Bah, I get to start next Thursday. It took quite a while... But well, at least I'm through with the fucking theory. Hah! Everybody's already on top of the ladder while I'm still trying to climb up. =/ But on the bright side, at least there's a little progress. At least I'm off the ground.
On a different note, I think I'm getting weird. All these time I kept creating what Princess would say. Like my dad will say 'get out' and in my head Princess will say 'No, I don't wanna!' in a cute voice. XDD WTF WTF. <_<; Can't help it. D:
Bundle of joy. X3
And so we [me & dad] went around, focusing only on courses related to computers. What about coding and designing? Okay, I know a bit of coding and designing... well, I think I'm creative enough. It wouldn't be so hard now is it? I was very wrong about that. Coding, well, I don't have any trouble with that. My problem was designing. Bleugh. I had big trouble with it. Major trouble. With due dates coming up, I still had no idea. Sure, I had the theme in mind but the patterns and such... phew, it was hard. Another problem with me was that I am never satisfied with my own work. I'm satisfied with others, no matter how simple they are. With due dates coming so near, I had to do something. I started designing. BUT I kept changing my mind. Hours of working on a design and a second to delete it. Hyuu~! In the end, I passed the date. -_-; Fuuuccckkk!!
With my experiences in college before, I now know what I have to do to find the suitable subject for me. Actual interest was a major in English. However, it's unavailable here. Boo! I'm still researching about this course I plan to take though. XD But I'm pretty sure I'm going back again. =]
Sad to say, the next intake will be this August. Probably about another 4 months to waste. But I planned to do something - maybe get a part time job while waiting. But first I have to finish my driving lessons and test. Bah, I get to start next Thursday. It took quite a while... But well, at least I'm through with the fucking theory. Hah! Everybody's already on top of the ladder while I'm still trying to climb up. =/ But on the bright side, at least there's a little progress. At least I'm off the ground.
On a different note, I think I'm getting weird. All these time I kept creating what Princess would say. Like my dad will say 'get out' and in my head Princess will say 'No, I don't wanna!' in a cute voice. XDD WTF WTF. <_<; Can't help it. D:
Bundle of joy. X3
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Poi poi~
Well, it's been quite a while since I last posted. That's cause I like to procrastinate and I was lazy. D:
19th April was my birthday. I received nothing much but I was definitely pleased with what I got. From my parents I got what I always wanted but never wanted to spend my savings on it. Well, at least I chipped in a bit.
From a childhood friend of mine, I received a card and a letter that actually almost made me cry. But I emo-ed for the whole night. >_>;
From other friends and acquaintances, I got birthday wishes. That was actually enough.
And lastly from my sister and her boyfriend, I got a cute bag which I have yet use and a pen/pencil holder.
Just a couple of days ago, I was almost sure what I wanted to do with my life. However I have to make a final decision between two choices - continue study which means starting from first degree since I am considering Marketing now or start a business. If I choose the latter, I still have to make a few more choices to what I want to sell. =/ Currently I'm looking up about Marketing course in Swinburne. If I choose to study, most likely I will go back there. My first choice was English but then it's in KL. I don't think I want to study there. I'm a person who can't take stress and just going on a vacation in KL was already stressing me out! The crowd, the noise, the hustle and bustle. Fuh. Just... no. I prefer to live right here where it's easy to go... basically... anywhere. I don't want to get stuck in traffic for hours or... wake up at 5 just to go to a 8am class. -_-;
For more than two years I've been doing... nothing. Not a good achievement for a person my age now isn't it? I remembered asking just for a semester break. Things just went wrong and it dragged on until today. =/ I could have get a fucking job but my health isn't exactly allowing me to do such. I'm sure though.. that now I can do it. My parents just have to let me go. People have been telling me how lucky I am to have parents like mine. I think so too and I love them so much that I just don't know how to express them in words anymore. >_> I am aware that I'm being spoiled. Hah~! I know. You don't have to tell me. I'm just lucky. I don't have to do things myself. But here's the thing.... I'm not growing up. And when you're not growing up at my age, people laugh at you. By now, I should be graduating, looking for job - already making some money for myself and my parents. But no, here I am. Still... down below the chart when my friends are so high up. I want to study somewhere else too. I want to start working too. I want to be independent. Not a kid stuck in an adult's body. If I'm given a choice, I'd say I don't want to grow up and stay a kid forever. I won't have a lot of responsibilities. Parents will always be here for me. Yea, sure, that'd be great. That'd be great for anybody in this world if their parents are like mine. Not that I want to brag. I just want to say that when your parents are always doing something for you, you're a kid forever. Even when you're 40. Well, I'm taking a step forward. Now I'm just waiting for a call from my instructor. I passed my driving theory. It's just the driving that I have to go through. =] But he sure is taking his time. -_-; Damn it. When I know how to drive, I won't have to depend on my parents to take me to places I want to go. I can just go there by myself. To my work place or to my campus. Or just... wherever ya know!
I realized a very long time ago that I do not have a lot of friends, especially good friends. I have a couple now. It's not by choice that I don't have a lot of friends. It's just ... like that. That's how part of my life is. I know I can make friends easily. A simple hello, a gesture to help, a gesture to ask for help and etc. When I'm too nice, people take advantage of me but when I'm mean or selfish for once for myself, I'm the 'bitch'. Either way, they throw me aside after I am of no use. It's just hard to find a group that sticks to you no matter what. Those couple good friends of mine, I treasure them a lot. It's like... I don't treasure friends a lot since I'm aware that majority of them just wants to take advantage of me but when I do, it's for forever. =] However, if that trust is broken, it remains broken. I don't want to pick those pieces up. I had to let go of that friend of mine but nowadays, when I think back, I don't know why but I regretted it despite the fact that she hurt me and never apologized. Now, I just hope so much I won't have to do that with my current ones. One is overseas. I missed the times we hang out. And one is just busy working but is able to hang out with me occasionally whenever she has her day off. Other than that, I stayed at home or go out with my family. Well, I decided to just... change now. No matter how a friend treat me, I just have to continue to be nice to them. One day they will realized what kind of a person I am. And this I unexpectedly learned from my sister's boyfriend. He had been through a lot. People who were mean to him are now his friends - the ones who would just.. support you. I want to try to be like that. Maybe, it'll change the way how this part of my life works.
Since months ago, I think I'm addicted to something very expensive. I'm addicted to the sweetness of it or probably there's this unique taste of it that I really like. It's good for my health though and thanks to it, I recovered fast. I used to drink it every morning but now alternatively. Gosh, I try not to take it often though. -_-; Or even better once a week~! =D Cause I'm all healthy now. Bleh~! =P
I don't come from a rich family. Just average - enough for food and other things. I'm content. However, having this sickness isn't exactly very easy for me and my parents. I know they spent thousands for me. I know how my mum holds back the tempting urge to buy something she likes. I know how hard my dad works so he could find a way to get me back on my feet again.I am back on my feet - a slow process but I'm healthy again. A parent's love is unconditional. But I can't help thinking... that it would be a thousands times better if I'm not here. They can spend on something better - for themselves or... they have a lot of time to do just whatever they want. They don't have to go through such a depressing process. They don't have to keep worrying. It's definitely better if I'm not here. But I don't have the guts for suicide. =[ I r c0w4rd. XD!
What I want to say is... I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I have this problem.
I'm sorry that I'm here.
The things I said, I know it's selfish. They did all that because they care and love me. =] I sometimes think that I want to die before them. Again, out of selfishness. I don't think I can take it. X3 Dark topic isn't it? But it's a blog. I typed whatever is in my mind now. Yeap, I'm quite emo now. XD But no one knows.
Like I always quote:
'I smile because I don't want to look hurt in front of you. I laugh because I don't want to cry.'
Onto a brighter topic, I love my kitten! XD Little Princess. Always brings laughter and smiles to this family with her antics.
Look at how different she is now! Aw, so adult looking! Almost. She's now in her 4th/5th month! Just a few days ago she surprised us! Well, because of something, she's not allowed in the house all the time. =[ but we let her in for a few hours everyday - morning, afternoon and night. Sometimes just morning and afternoon. She's only out there for her little naps and meals. Sometimes she eats in the kitchen. Despite the fact that she lives outside, she's living a good life. The front is just big enough for her to go crazy. And there's a cat condominium for her - first level, there's a hole for her to hide in, second level - a soft spot for her to sleep on and third level, just a high place for her to sit on. Plenty of toys and scratching post. A litter box. Even food mat. -_-; Three bowls for her - one for tuna and one for her biscuits and one, just extra. Oh a water bottle which she is.. afraid of and chose to drink from a bucket. <_<; Sometimes we fed her little treats and there's one biscuit that can somehow clean her teeth. =O Oddly, despite the comfortable sleeping places we offered like... a bed, she chose to sleep on a table or on top of a shoe rack. D: When my parents have extra income, they'll buy her a small house where her toys, food and bed will be. Costs a couple hundreds I think. X3 So that'll have to wait. Oh yea, I went side tracked. Anyway, the surprise was that she wanted to come in the house or just for fun. she walked to the back of the house where the door is open most of the time using shortcut! XD Most of the time when she wanted to come in she mews loudly outside the door but this time, she used the back door. XD Sho cute. She walked in the house and straight to the front door where she wanted to go out again. She has been doing it less now since a couple days ago but there was once we had to open and close the door for her seven times. -_-;
She likes to chase, hug and nip people's ankle/leg. But she rarely do it to my mum, knowing that she doesn't like it. Most of the time she tries to do that to my dad and my sister's boyfriend. As for me, she waits for me to take out or make something for her to play or chase and my sister, she likes to sit on her lap and be pet. She listens to my mum more than to us. She knows when is no and when is okay. But when we say no, she continues to do it. >_>; Recently, she listens to me too! =D She knows when I'm angry. But I never smack her. D: I don't have the heart to do it. I just use the angry tone.
She's a curious kitty - always sitting or standing beside us and watch us do things. When my mum cooks, she would sit by the door and watch quietly. Other times she lays down - her eyes never leave my mum. XD If she's too far, she would slowly and carefully walk closer to us.
We all love her so much! Surprisingly my dad would play with her inside/outside the house. He would stomp his feet and then step back, triggering Princess's playfulness. Sometimes she would arch her body and tail and walk towards my dad. Other times, she would try to catch his ankle and nip it. Then sometimes at night before bed, if she isn't sleeping, my dad would open the door just to talk to her. XD 'Why aren't you sleeping yet? Go sleep already.' Sometimes when he has the time, he goes out again to play with her. X3 Sometimes he caught her playing with her toys -chasing, pawing, back-flipping, kicking. My sister's boyfriend loves her too~! Everyday after 5, he came over from his work place and played with her for ten minutes before going in the house. If her bowl is or almost empty, he would refill it and bring it to her. Sometimes she would take a few bites, other times, she turned away. On weekends, he would spend longer - sometimes sitting on the floor with my sister and Princess will always be around them. And before he goes home at night during weekends, he would refill her bowl with food again, talks to her and make her eat. XD
Well, that's her life~ Our little Princess.
That is all. Long post. Fuh~!
19th April was my birthday. I received nothing much but I was definitely pleased with what I got. From my parents I got what I always wanted but never wanted to spend my savings on it. Well, at least I chipped in a bit.
From a childhood friend of mine, I received a card and a letter that actually almost made me cry. But I emo-ed for the whole night. >_>;
From other friends and acquaintances, I got birthday wishes. That was actually enough.
And lastly from my sister and her boyfriend, I got a cute bag which I have yet use and a pen/pencil holder.
Just a couple of days ago, I was almost sure what I wanted to do with my life. However I have to make a final decision between two choices - continue study which means starting from first degree since I am considering Marketing now or start a business. If I choose the latter, I still have to make a few more choices to what I want to sell. =/ Currently I'm looking up about Marketing course in Swinburne. If I choose to study, most likely I will go back there. My first choice was English but then it's in KL. I don't think I want to study there. I'm a person who can't take stress and just going on a vacation in KL was already stressing me out! The crowd, the noise, the hustle and bustle. Fuh. Just... no. I prefer to live right here where it's easy to go... basically... anywhere. I don't want to get stuck in traffic for hours or... wake up at 5 just to go to a 8am class. -_-;
For more than two years I've been doing... nothing. Not a good achievement for a person my age now isn't it? I remembered asking just for a semester break. Things just went wrong and it dragged on until today. =/ I could have get a fucking job but my health isn't exactly allowing me to do such. I'm sure though.. that now I can do it. My parents just have to let me go. People have been telling me how lucky I am to have parents like mine. I think so too and I love them so much that I just don't know how to express them in words anymore. >_> I am aware that I'm being spoiled. Hah~! I know. You don't have to tell me. I'm just lucky. I don't have to do things myself. But here's the thing.... I'm not growing up. And when you're not growing up at my age, people laugh at you. By now, I should be graduating, looking for job - already making some money for myself and my parents. But no, here I am. Still... down below the chart when my friends are so high up. I want to study somewhere else too. I want to start working too. I want to be independent. Not a kid stuck in an adult's body. If I'm given a choice, I'd say I don't want to grow up and stay a kid forever. I won't have a lot of responsibilities. Parents will always be here for me. Yea, sure, that'd be great. That'd be great for anybody in this world if their parents are like mine. Not that I want to brag. I just want to say that when your parents are always doing something for you, you're a kid forever. Even when you're 40. Well, I'm taking a step forward. Now I'm just waiting for a call from my instructor. I passed my driving theory. It's just the driving that I have to go through. =] But he sure is taking his time. -_-; Damn it. When I know how to drive, I won't have to depend on my parents to take me to places I want to go. I can just go there by myself. To my work place or to my campus. Or just... wherever ya know!
I realized a very long time ago that I do not have a lot of friends, especially good friends. I have a couple now. It's not by choice that I don't have a lot of friends. It's just ... like that. That's how part of my life is. I know I can make friends easily. A simple hello, a gesture to help, a gesture to ask for help and etc. When I'm too nice, people take advantage of me but when I'm mean or selfish for once for myself, I'm the 'bitch'. Either way, they throw me aside after I am of no use. It's just hard to find a group that sticks to you no matter what. Those couple good friends of mine, I treasure them a lot. It's like... I don't treasure friends a lot since I'm aware that majority of them just wants to take advantage of me but when I do, it's for forever. =] However, if that trust is broken, it remains broken. I don't want to pick those pieces up. I had to let go of that friend of mine but nowadays, when I think back, I don't know why but I regretted it despite the fact that she hurt me and never apologized. Now, I just hope so much I won't have to do that with my current ones. One is overseas. I missed the times we hang out. And one is just busy working but is able to hang out with me occasionally whenever she has her day off. Other than that, I stayed at home or go out with my family. Well, I decided to just... change now. No matter how a friend treat me, I just have to continue to be nice to them. One day they will realized what kind of a person I am. And this I unexpectedly learned from my sister's boyfriend. He had been through a lot. People who were mean to him are now his friends - the ones who would just.. support you. I want to try to be like that. Maybe, it'll change the way how this part of my life works.
Since months ago, I think I'm addicted to something very expensive. I'm addicted to the sweetness of it or probably there's this unique taste of it that I really like. It's good for my health though and thanks to it, I recovered fast. I used to drink it every morning but now alternatively. Gosh, I try not to take it often though. -_-; Or even better once a week~! =D Cause I'm all healthy now. Bleh~! =P
I don't come from a rich family. Just average - enough for food and other things. I'm content. However, having this sickness isn't exactly very easy for me and my parents. I know they spent thousands for me. I know how my mum holds back the tempting urge to buy something she likes. I know how hard my dad works so he could find a way to get me back on my feet again.I am back on my feet - a slow process but I'm healthy again. A parent's love is unconditional. But I can't help thinking... that it would be a thousands times better if I'm not here. They can spend on something better - for themselves or... they have a lot of time to do just whatever they want. They don't have to go through such a depressing process. They don't have to keep worrying. It's definitely better if I'm not here. But I don't have the guts for suicide. =[ I r c0w4rd. XD!
What I want to say is... I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I have this problem.
I'm sorry that I'm here.
The things I said, I know it's selfish. They did all that because they care and love me. =] I sometimes think that I want to die before them. Again, out of selfishness. I don't think I can take it. X3 Dark topic isn't it? But it's a blog. I typed whatever is in my mind now. Yeap, I'm quite emo now. XD But no one knows.
Like I always quote:
'I smile because I don't want to look hurt in front of you. I laugh because I don't want to cry.'
Onto a brighter topic, I love my kitten! XD Little Princess. Always brings laughter and smiles to this family with her antics.
Look at how different she is now! Aw, so adult looking! Almost. She's now in her 4th/5th month! Just a few days ago she surprised us! Well, because of something, she's not allowed in the house all the time. =[ but we let her in for a few hours everyday - morning, afternoon and night. Sometimes just morning and afternoon. She's only out there for her little naps and meals. Sometimes she eats in the kitchen. Despite the fact that she lives outside, she's living a good life. The front is just big enough for her to go crazy. And there's a cat condominium for her - first level, there's a hole for her to hide in, second level - a soft spot for her to sleep on and third level, just a high place for her to sit on. Plenty of toys and scratching post. A litter box. Even food mat. -_-; Three bowls for her - one for tuna and one for her biscuits and one, just extra. Oh a water bottle which she is.. afraid of and chose to drink from a bucket. <_<; Sometimes we fed her little treats and there's one biscuit that can somehow clean her teeth. =O Oddly, despite the comfortable sleeping places we offered like... a bed, she chose to sleep on a table or on top of a shoe rack. D: When my parents have extra income, they'll buy her a small house where her toys, food and bed will be. Costs a couple hundreds I think. X3 So that'll have to wait. Oh yea, I went side tracked. Anyway, the surprise was that she wanted to come in the house or just for fun. she walked to the back of the house where the door is open most of the time using shortcut! XD Most of the time when she wanted to come in she mews loudly outside the door but this time, she used the back door. XD Sho cute. She walked in the house and straight to the front door where she wanted to go out again. She has been doing it less now since a couple days ago but there was once we had to open and close the door for her seven times. -_-;
She likes to chase, hug and nip people's ankle/leg. But she rarely do it to my mum, knowing that she doesn't like it. Most of the time she tries to do that to my dad and my sister's boyfriend. As for me, she waits for me to take out or make something for her to play or chase and my sister, she likes to sit on her lap and be pet. She listens to my mum more than to us. She knows when is no and when is okay. But when we say no, she continues to do it. >_>; Recently, she listens to me too! =D She knows when I'm angry. But I never smack her. D: I don't have the heart to do it. I just use the angry tone.
She's a curious kitty - always sitting or standing beside us and watch us do things. When my mum cooks, she would sit by the door and watch quietly. Other times she lays down - her eyes never leave my mum. XD If she's too far, she would slowly and carefully walk closer to us.
We all love her so much! Surprisingly my dad would play with her inside/outside the house. He would stomp his feet and then step back, triggering Princess's playfulness. Sometimes she would arch her body and tail and walk towards my dad. Other times, she would try to catch his ankle and nip it. Then sometimes at night before bed, if she isn't sleeping, my dad would open the door just to talk to her. XD 'Why aren't you sleeping yet? Go sleep already.' Sometimes when he has the time, he goes out again to play with her. X3 Sometimes he caught her playing with her toys -chasing, pawing, back-flipping, kicking. My sister's boyfriend loves her too~! Everyday after 5, he came over from his work place and played with her for ten minutes before going in the house. If her bowl is or almost empty, he would refill it and bring it to her. Sometimes she would take a few bites, other times, she turned away. On weekends, he would spend longer - sometimes sitting on the floor with my sister and Princess will always be around them. And before he goes home at night during weekends, he would refill her bowl with food again, talks to her and make her eat. XD
Well, that's her life~ Our little Princess.
That is all. Long post. Fuh~!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Love Song
Bi Rain - Love song
Oneuldo seosongineun noye jib hwaga naneun geol
Naneun himdeunde naneun himdeunde irohke
Hajiman naneun eojjol su obso
Ni mameul dolligin nomu neujeun geol
kkeutnaboryeosso eojjol su obso ijen..
Han sungan nae mome iksokhaetdeon ni soni nal mironae
Naneun oddeokhae naneun oddeokhae
oneuldo ddeonagan noye sumkyeor ajikdo
Neol saranghae
Naneun oddeokhae naneun oddeokhae jebal..
Oh~ Jebal.. dorawa...
Nan niga saenggag na jakkuman saenggag na
yejeon choreom ni son jabeul suga obso
nan niga nomu jowhaseo noye modeun geol moshijeo
i noraeneun neol butjabeul su itneun norae
Han sungan nae mome iksokhaetdeon ni soni nal mironae
Naneun oddeokhae naneun oddeokhae
oneuldo ddeonagan noye sumkyeor ajikdo
Neol saranghae
Naneun oddeokhae naneun oddeokhae
Nawa majuchideon geu nunbicheuro geudaen nareuo dashi bwayo
Geu nunbit naege mareul haejullae ajikdo saranghandago
Han sungan nae mome iksokhaetdeon ni soni nal mironae
Naneun oddeokhae naneun oddeokhae
oneuldo ddeonagan noye sumkyeor ajikdo
Neol saranghae
Naneun oddeokhae naneun oddeokhae jebal..
Oh~ Jebal.. saranghae...
TRANSLATIONS
*Love Song (Song That Will Get You)*
While I am roaming around your house today
I'm getting angry
It's difficult, It's difficult for me like this
But I can't do anything about it
It is too late to change your heart
It's done, I can't do anything now
Your hands that was once used to my body are now pushing me away
What should I do? What should I do?
Until now, the breath of yours is gone
I still love you
What should I do? What should I do? Please..
Oh~ Please.. comeback to me...
I think of you, I keep thinking of you
I can't hold your hands like I did in the past
I like you too much
I can't forget anything about you
This song is a song that can't hold onto you
I think of you, I always think of you
I won't be able to hold your hands like I did in the past
I liked you too much that I can't forget anything about you
This song is a song that will get you back to me
Your hands that was once used to my body are now pushing me away
What should I do? What should I do?
Until now, the breath of yours is gone
I still love you
What should I do? What should I do?
Those eyes that used to meet me
Look at me once again
Will those eyes of yours say that you still love me?
Your hands that was once used to my body is now pushing me away
What should I do? What should I do?
Until now, the breath of yours is gone
I still love you
What should I do? What should I do? Please..
Oh~ Please.. I love you...
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Sigh....
THIS POST REMOVED.
FRIEND ADVICE.
=D
BUT WILL POST IT AGAIN WHEN TIME COMES.
HI SHEELA!!! *WAVES*
AIMISHOO!!!!
WHEE~~~!!
FRIEND ADVICE.
=D
BUT WILL POST IT AGAIN WHEN TIME COMES.
HI SHEELA!!! *WAVES*
AIMISHOO!!!!
WHEE~~~!!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Chap go mei
Happy Chap Go Mei - the day Chinese New Year end. Supposedly we were going to grandma's house for dinner but my crazy uncle just had to ruin the night. He dislikes my mum for having a better family than his. Strong jealousy. But then again there's always something wrong with him. He even hit my grandma and grandpa for not listening to him. Such a lunatic.
Since he's there [Well duh of course... with all the free food there, there's no way he's going home.] mum didn't want to go. And to think I was looking forward to it.
Grandma should have disown him a long time ago.
He's not worth the time. Seriously.
Since he's there [Well duh of course... with all the free food there, there's no way he's going home.] mum didn't want to go. And to think I was looking forward to it.
Grandma should have disown him a long time ago.
He's not worth the time. Seriously.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Chokolat!
I've always been a chocolate lover since little. Whee~! I don't know. But it can be addictive for me. Today I went to this Taiwan Bakery where I found something I used to always bring to school. It's a long biscuit-ish thing with chocolate on both ends. Probably will take picture later before I finish it. ;D IF I REMEMBER. Oh yea, camera's with my cousin. Need to take it back tomolo~!
I've always love dipping fruits and biscuits in chocolate but I just love Banana + Chocolate! ;D My favourite! Whee! Makes me happy inside. =)
Currently I'm looking for a house for a friend of mine who will be coming in the first week of March. I found one and conveniently it's a few houses away from mine. However the person still jasn't move yet but I hope she does. As soon as possible dangit! Sigh...
Yesterday me, Sheela and Ni went for Karaoke. =D Yes I'm so glad Sheela's back but too bad it's only for a short period. I've only seen her twice so far. =/ But it's okay. AT least I still get to see her but I sure will miss her again when she goes back to Australia. Sigh.... What to do? Life's like that. Suck it up! Psh... But
yes, I'll still miss her. She's the only person I share stories with. We'd do something and we'd say 'Ha! Eiri la! Like that!' And another person who's with us will be blur-blur. XD Especially Ni. Kesian her sometimes but we still explain to her. Sometimes. We pull her in our story world too whenever we can. XD It's fun. And well, what kept our conversation going is stories. We'd do silly things - we'd create silly stories but the odd thing is... we never write them. It's just the fun of talking about it and having a motivation to write at That time only. However when we sat in front of the laptop/computer, we won't feel like writing it. XD
We went to Spring in the afternoon but too bad there was a blackout so we went to Pullman for Sushi King!
'Oh Salmon~!'
Ignore that. u_u
Then after that we went back to my house cause Ni had to pick her sister up and sent her home. Sheela downloaded a bunch of Sims 2 stuff in my computer. -_-; And Ni came back around 7.30 and by 8 we were off to Karaoke. We sang till 11pm. =D Fun moments. A moment I won't forget even if it's for quite a short while. Too bad I don't have my camera since I lent it to my cousin. Blargh! I'm so annoyed right now. We didn't took any picture like I planned. We kinda just forgot.
She'll be leaving on the 4th March. God knows what time. I do hope she doesn't mind that I actually blog about her coming back.
PS: Sorry if you actually mind. Do tell me la!
I'll definitely remember what we did to the Celine Dion - It's All Coming Back To Me song.e_e;; Such a spoiler. Then again that's what we always do. Spoiling things. D: When she comes back I'd like to do that again. Not what we did to the song but Karaoke-ing. XD
My mum is addicted to 'Lady Gaga- Bad Romance'. -_- And my dad trying to sing the song. Big failure. Nevertheless it was amusing seeing them debating who was more 'trendy' and all 'updated'-ish. XD
Welp, that is all for now. I really hope I get to hang out with Sheela again before she goes off to Kangaroo-land. =(
I've always love dipping fruits and biscuits in chocolate but I just love Banana + Chocolate! ;D My favourite! Whee! Makes me happy inside. =)
Currently I'm looking for a house for a friend of mine who will be coming in the first week of March. I found one and conveniently it's a few houses away from mine. However the person still jasn't move yet but I hope she does. As soon as possible dangit! Sigh...
Yesterday me, Sheela and Ni went for Karaoke. =D Yes I'm so glad Sheela's back but too bad it's only for a short period. I've only seen her twice so far. =/ But it's okay. AT least I still get to see her but I sure will miss her again when she goes back to Australia. Sigh.... What to do? Life's like that. Suck it up! Psh... But
yes, I'll still miss her. She's the only person I share stories with. We'd do something and we'd say 'Ha! Eiri la! Like that!' And another person who's with us will be blur-blur. XD Especially Ni. Kesian her sometimes but we still explain to her. Sometimes. We pull her in our story world too whenever we can. XD It's fun. And well, what kept our conversation going is stories. We'd do silly things - we'd create silly stories but the odd thing is... we never write them. It's just the fun of talking about it and having a motivation to write at That time only. However when we sat in front of the laptop/computer, we won't feel like writing it. XD
We went to Spring in the afternoon but too bad there was a blackout so we went to Pullman for Sushi King!
'Oh Salmon~!'
Ignore that. u_u
Then after that we went back to my house cause Ni had to pick her sister up and sent her home. Sheela downloaded a bunch of Sims 2 stuff in my computer. -_-; And Ni came back around 7.30 and by 8 we were off to Karaoke. We sang till 11pm. =D Fun moments. A moment I won't forget even if it's for quite a short while. Too bad I don't have my camera since I lent it to my cousin. Blargh! I'm so annoyed right now. We didn't took any picture like I planned. We kinda just forgot.
She'll be leaving on the 4th March. God knows what time. I do hope she doesn't mind that I actually blog about her coming back.
PS: Sorry if you actually mind. Do tell me la!
I'll definitely remember what we did to the Celine Dion - It's All Coming Back To Me song.e_e;; Such a spoiler. Then again that's what we always do. Spoiling things. D: When she comes back I'd like to do that again. Not what we did to the song but Karaoke-ing. XD
My mum is addicted to 'Lady Gaga- Bad Romance'. -_- And my dad trying to sing the song. Big failure. Nevertheless it was amusing seeing them debating who was more 'trendy' and all 'updated'-ish. XD
Welp, that is all for now. I really hope I get to hang out with Sheela again before she goes off to Kangaroo-land. =(
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