I've been telling myself that Feefee will be okay. He will come home and play catch-the-mouse with me. =/ Am I lying to myself or is this hope? I've been clinging on that thought.
I've been wondering if he already ate or drank? He is never off my mind. I want to ask the doctor how he is but I'm afraid of the answer.
Sometimes when I stopped praying in my mind, I wondered if it'll work that way. I wonder if it's wrong for me to stop thinking about him for a little while. What can I do so he can survive? That's what I've been asking myself. Do I have to fast? Do I have to keep praying for hours which I did so since yesterday.
I want to eat but it feels so wrong for me to eat here when Feefee's probably suffering in the veterinary. And he's alone too. And I'm not with him. I want to be there but I'm afraid I will cry. But I want to see him again.
But I'm afraid.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Please be well, Feefee.
On the previous post, I did say I wanted to take Feefee for neutering and vaccination the next day. It happened too early. After blogging, I went out, wanted to play and pet him but when I called his name, he sat there, ignoring me. If he wasn't running to me, he would mew in respond. But not that day. I knew something was wrong. So I walked to him and picked him up. It was then my mum saw a wound on the back of his leg. We checked and saw that it was serious. So my parents and I rushed to the veterinary.
The doctor checked him and treated his wound. Then he gave him the vaccination. We went home after that. Along the way back and forth, he was so curious, looking out the window. When we reached home, he laid down again. For the whole day, he didn't sleep, didn't eat and didn't drink. He was twitching slightly too and he kept going to wet places and stay there. I texted the doctor asking why he didn't want to eat or drink? He told me it was a normal reaction after vaccination - just a fever and will feel better the next day. So we leave it just that and hoped.
We were wrong. The next day he was twitching even more than the previous day - as if it was hard for him to breath. We called his name and all he could do was to look at us with those pair of pretty blue eyes. It was heartbreaking. Nini came over in the afternoon and we took him to the veterinary. She was the one who recommended me the place as it charges us affordable prices. Doctor wasn't in so we left Feefee there and went for a drink/lunch. Phone call came in the middle and I received the bad news. Feefee has internal bleeding in the stomach and he was injected to stop the bleeding. There's 50-50 chance that he'll survive and all we could do was to pray hard. I've been praying for hours. And I swear I never pray this hard before. Not for anyone. Not for myself. I've been crying since yesterday. And I guess I broke my record of crying. It feels as if I'm clinging on the hope for a family member of mine. A close one. Feefee is the little kitten I look forward to everyday. And I told myself before that I wanted to take care of him until he's old. But he's still a kitten and yet he's... like that.
At night, my parents, sister and I went to visit him again at the veterinary. We were informed that there's a possibility that someone kicked him int he stomach. It's possible. If he were to be hit by a car or a motorcycle, he would break his legs. But no, he only had a scratch on the hind leg which almost healed. He was already walking properly. There's no high places high enough for him to be injured like that so yes, someone kicked him. I don't know why and what's the motive of kicking a little kitten. Fuck them but I will hold no grudge. I will leave it to karma. I forgive that person for now.
Everytime I'm awake, all I could think of was 'God, protect and heal Feefee'. Everytime someone talked about what he used to do, tears would run down my cheeks and my heart sores. Blargh, I never felt like this before.
Dear God,
I love my little kitten. Please don't take him away from me. He's my sunshine on a rainy day. Don't take my sunshine away from me. I'm desperate and I'm begging.
The doctor checked him and treated his wound. Then he gave him the vaccination. We went home after that. Along the way back and forth, he was so curious, looking out the window. When we reached home, he laid down again. For the whole day, he didn't sleep, didn't eat and didn't drink. He was twitching slightly too and he kept going to wet places and stay there. I texted the doctor asking why he didn't want to eat or drink? He told me it was a normal reaction after vaccination - just a fever and will feel better the next day. So we leave it just that and hoped.
We were wrong. The next day he was twitching even more than the previous day - as if it was hard for him to breath. We called his name and all he could do was to look at us with those pair of pretty blue eyes. It was heartbreaking. Nini came over in the afternoon and we took him to the veterinary. She was the one who recommended me the place as it charges us affordable prices. Doctor wasn't in so we left Feefee there and went for a drink/lunch. Phone call came in the middle and I received the bad news. Feefee has internal bleeding in the stomach and he was injected to stop the bleeding. There's 50-50 chance that he'll survive and all we could do was to pray hard. I've been praying for hours. And I swear I never pray this hard before. Not for anyone. Not for myself. I've been crying since yesterday. And I guess I broke my record of crying. It feels as if I'm clinging on the hope for a family member of mine. A close one. Feefee is the little kitten I look forward to everyday. And I told myself before that I wanted to take care of him until he's old. But he's still a kitten and yet he's... like that.
At night, my parents, sister and I went to visit him again at the veterinary. We were informed that there's a possibility that someone kicked him int he stomach. It's possible. If he were to be hit by a car or a motorcycle, he would break his legs. But no, he only had a scratch on the hind leg which almost healed. He was already walking properly. There's no high places high enough for him to be injured like that so yes, someone kicked him. I don't know why and what's the motive of kicking a little kitten. Fuck them but I will hold no grudge. I will leave it to karma. I forgive that person for now.
Everytime I'm awake, all I could think of was 'God, protect and heal Feefee'. Everytime someone talked about what he used to do, tears would run down my cheeks and my heart sores. Blargh, I never felt like this before.
Dear God,
I love my little kitten. Please don't take him away from me. He's my sunshine on a rainy day. Don't take my sunshine away from me. I'm desperate and I'm begging.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Ashamed to be a Malaysian
On the 7th of January 2010, three churches were burnt. D: Why? Because the Malays don't agree that we Christians should use the word 'Allah' in our bibles[BM version]. It is known to us that we used the word 'Allah' for over 100 years and NOW they want to bring it up. -_- It's as if there's no more trouble so they decided to simply create one. All thanks to UMNO anyway.
On Friday, there were protests which our PM didn't bother to stop. Why is it that candlelight vigils are banned but protests and demonstration for the Malays is not? PM said he's powerless... Powerless my ass. I'm sure if stopping means getting more money he will do it. -_-++
Why is it that the Malays get to insult other religion but when we do to them we get beat up or even jailed for? You don't see us non-Malays burning your mosques down. In fact, we didn't retaliate after those four churches were burnt down. The fourth one happened before dawn on Friday morning. A pastor was manhandled too.
The thing that angered me the most was 'Be the best or die like the rest' or something along that line. It means if we're not Malays, we should die. >_> Without us non Malays, Malaysian money's nothing. No value at all.
Actually, this whole 'Allah' thing shouldn't be even brought up by the government. It shames us all. Other places would look down on us. It will affect our economy and our reputation. Jobs will be harder to find for us Malaysians. To other places, we're terrorists. Less tourists will come and therefore Malaysia's going down.
God, I wish I'm from somewhere place right now. I used to think I was lucky to be from here. I hated Malaysia but still I thought I was lucky. Despite the very so much corrupted government, there's no disaster - no wars, no earthquake, no tsunami, etc but as things like this happens, I wish I am not a citizen here.
This 'Allah' issue's really silly. Like children fighting over something. And bullies would threaten thinking that they would finally get that 'something' by doing so.
No, burning churches doesn't mean you get what you shitheads want. It humiliates Malaysia. You're gaining more Malaysia haters too by the way. =D I'm just surprised that no one's burning the Malaysia flag yet. XD Or will it happen? I'm not so sure. If we do anything bad to Malays, we get jailed/sued for. If it's the other way round, I don't see any actions taken.
Oh, we're told they're currently hunting down the culprits who burnt the churches. It's like listening to them farting. They say but they don't do. You'll see. The culprits will get away with it. BUT if their mosques are being burn down, I'm sure that they'll put 200% or even more to hunting down those mischievous little elves. But for the churches, nah... maybe 2% or less. Like they give a damn about us non Malays. Racists bastards. Well, all of us is a racist but this is extremely racist. woo, racism!
1Malaysia my ass.
Way to go to start 2010!
PS: Feefee's going for vaccination and neutering tomorrow. D:
On Friday, there were protests which our PM didn't bother to stop. Why is it that candlelight vigils are banned but protests and demonstration for the Malays is not? PM said he's powerless... Powerless my ass. I'm sure if stopping means getting more money he will do it. -_-++
Why is it that the Malays get to insult other religion but when we do to them we get beat up or even jailed for? You don't see us non-Malays burning your mosques down. In fact, we didn't retaliate after those four churches were burnt down. The fourth one happened before dawn on Friday morning. A pastor was manhandled too.
The thing that angered me the most was 'Be the best or die like the rest' or something along that line. It means if we're not Malays, we should die. >_> Without us non Malays, Malaysian money's nothing. No value at all.
Actually, this whole 'Allah' thing shouldn't be even brought up by the government. It shames us all. Other places would look down on us. It will affect our economy and our reputation. Jobs will be harder to find for us Malaysians. To other places, we're terrorists. Less tourists will come and therefore Malaysia's going down.
God, I wish I'm from somewhere place right now. I used to think I was lucky to be from here. I hated Malaysia but still I thought I was lucky. Despite the very so much corrupted government, there's no disaster - no wars, no earthquake, no tsunami, etc but as things like this happens, I wish I am not a citizen here.
This 'Allah' issue's really silly. Like children fighting over something. And bullies would threaten thinking that they would finally get that 'something' by doing so.
No, burning churches doesn't mean you get what you shitheads want. It humiliates Malaysia. You're gaining more Malaysia haters too by the way. =D I'm just surprised that no one's burning the Malaysia flag yet. XD Or will it happen? I'm not so sure. If we do anything bad to Malays, we get jailed/sued for. If it's the other way round, I don't see any actions taken.
Oh, we're told they're currently hunting down the culprits who burnt the churches. It's like listening to them farting. They say but they don't do. You'll see. The culprits will get away with it. BUT if their mosques are being burn down, I'm sure that they'll put 200% or even more to hunting down those mischievous little elves. But for the churches, nah... maybe 2% or less. Like they give a damn about us non Malays. Racists bastards. Well, all of us is a racist but this is extremely racist. woo, racism!
1Malaysia my ass.
Way to go to start 2010!
PS: Feefee's going for vaccination and neutering tomorrow. D:
Sunday, January 3, 2010
2010
Ħαρρʏ Иɛω Ƴɛαя тσ ɛʌɛяʏвσ∂ʏ! Ħσρɛғʋℓℓʏ 2010 ωιℓℓ вɛ α ωσи∂ɛяғʋℓ ʏɛαя! Ħσρɛ ʏɛ'αℓℓ нα∂ α ɢяɛαт cɛℓɛвяαтισи! =Ɖ
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Sheela, I blame thee!
Okay.... I have to do this to calm myself down. I'm screaming inside. D:
SUPER DANIEL HENNEY FANGIRL MODE!
TRANSFORM!!
*sparkle sparkle*
*flash*
*appears*
OMG DANIEL HENNEY!! KYAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.jpg)
God's finest creation. ;D
*BITES AND GNAWS ON SHEELA'S ARM*
SUPER DANIEL HENNEY FANGIRL MODE!
TRANSFORM!!
*sparkle sparkle*
*flash*
*appears*
OMG DANIEL HENNEY!! KYAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.jpg)
God's finest creation. ;D
*BITES AND GNAWS ON SHEELA'S ARM*
Friday, December 25, 2009
Feh...
So... how was your Christmas?
I know it's still Christmas when I'm writing this but unless miracle happens, today will turn out to be good.
Morning was okay. It started with laughter and plans with what to do with mum. Then parents went out and my mum came back crying. I didn't know what happened. I don't want to know. My Christmas was ruined. There was no going out, no laughter, no joy. There was only silence, PURE BOREDOM... DULL. FUCK THAT.
Yes, I'm angry.
I wanted today to be special. Because... it IS a special day. isn't it? Happens once in a year. But no it had to be ruin. I just want to break down but bleh, no point ya know. Not only there's no present for me, there was no family outing. I wanted a family outing. Heck, I don't need presents. I just need at least a happy time together for the whole day. It rarely happen. Dad's always working, Mum's always busy and my sister's always in her own world. I'm on my own, ya know. I'm still always lonely.
Now I'm here typing, dad's snoozing, mum's having a headache from crying earlier and doing housework and sister's with little Toffee. I know there are people out there more unfortunate than me today. This is what I've been telling myself for the whole day but I just have to rant it out and forget it ya know. Besides, there's no one else listening to me. Okay, there is... obviously... she 'unbugged' me cause I didn't seem to want to talk. Yes, I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to ruin her Christmas. She was already bored and faraway from her family. -_- I don't want to make her more miserable.
I'm just really frustrated inside. Multiple times I wanted a family get together. Multiple times it failed. SOMETHING ALWAYS HAPPEN. Mostly because my parents don't agree over something stupid... dad's always so stubborn and mum's always not putting herself in someone else's shoes. It's always all about her. Yes, she sarcrificed a lot. She reminded us everytime she's upset.
I'm a human too, ya know.
Happy birthday, Jesus.
I know it's still Christmas when I'm writing this but unless miracle happens, today will turn out to be good.
Morning was okay. It started with laughter and plans with what to do with mum. Then parents went out and my mum came back crying. I didn't know what happened. I don't want to know. My Christmas was ruined. There was no going out, no laughter, no joy. There was only silence, PURE BOREDOM... DULL. FUCK THAT.
Yes, I'm angry.
I wanted today to be special. Because... it IS a special day. isn't it? Happens once in a year. But no it had to be ruin. I just want to break down but bleh, no point ya know. Not only there's no present for me, there was no family outing. I wanted a family outing. Heck, I don't need presents. I just need at least a happy time together for the whole day. It rarely happen. Dad's always working, Mum's always busy and my sister's always in her own world. I'm on my own, ya know. I'm still always lonely.
Now I'm here typing, dad's snoozing, mum's having a headache from crying earlier and doing housework and sister's with little Toffee. I know there are people out there more unfortunate than me today. This is what I've been telling myself for the whole day but I just have to rant it out and forget it ya know. Besides, there's no one else listening to me. Okay, there is... obviously... she 'unbugged' me cause I didn't seem to want to talk. Yes, I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to ruin her Christmas. She was already bored and faraway from her family. -_- I don't want to make her more miserable.
I'm just really frustrated inside. Multiple times I wanted a family get together. Multiple times it failed. SOMETHING ALWAYS HAPPEN. Mostly because my parents don't agree over something stupid... dad's always so stubborn and mum's always not putting herself in someone else's shoes. It's always all about her. Yes, she sarcrificed a lot. She reminded us everytime she's upset.
I'm a human too, ya know.
Happy birthday, Jesus.
>_> Cat craze forever
I found a new manga. XD Simple and short.
Check this out!
Check... nao... I DEMAND YOU!
I wonder if Toffee actually thinks like that. D:
Check this out!
Check... nao... I DEMAND YOU!
I wonder if Toffee actually thinks like that. D:
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