Feh...

So... how was your Christmas?
I know it's still Christmas when I'm writing this but unless miracle happens, today will turn out to be good.
Morning was okay. It started with laughter and plans with what to do with mum. Then parents went out and my mum came back crying. I didn't know what happened. I don't want to know. My Christmas was ruined. There was no going out, no laughter, no joy. There was only silence, PURE BOREDOM... DULL. FUCK THAT.

Yes, I'm angry.

I wanted today to be special. Because... it IS a special day. isn't it? Happens once in a year. But no it had to be ruin. I just want to break down but bleh, no point ya know. Not only there's no present for me, there was no family outing. I wanted a family outing. Heck, I don't need presents. I just need at least a happy time together for the whole day. It rarely happen. Dad's always working, Mum's always busy and my sister's always in her own world. I'm on my own, ya know. I'm still always lonely.

Now I'm here typing, dad's snoozing, mum's having a headache from crying earlier and doing housework and sister's with little Toffee. I know there are people out there more unfortunate than me today. This is what I've been telling myself for the whole day but I just have to rant it out and forget it ya know. Besides, there's no one else listening to me. Okay, there is... obviously... she 'unbugged' me cause I didn't seem to want to talk. Yes, I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to ruin her Christmas. She was already bored and faraway from her family. -_- I don't want to make her more miserable.

I'm just really frustrated inside. Multiple times I wanted a family get together. Multiple times it failed. SOMETHING ALWAYS HAPPEN. Mostly because my parents don't agree over something stupid... dad's always so stubborn and mum's always not putting herself in someone else's shoes. It's always all about her. Yes, she sarcrificed a lot. She reminded us everytime she's upset.

I'm a human too, ya know.

Happy birthday, Jesus.