Pictures of Toffee

It's been a while since I go on. No thanks to Streamyx. -_- Until today they still cannot fix the line. Boohoo! Currently, I'm using Celcom broadband. It's so slow, I want to mati. Anyway, here are pictures of Toffee. Still not so decent. =| He cannot stay still... Like Mimi. D: I can get clear pictures of him but not Toffee. D:

=D

I adopted a kitten yesterday from SSPCA. An association I'd like to join one day. X3 He has blue eyes and has fur like a Siamese. He's a pretty kitty~! I decided to call him Toffee because of his colours - light brown, brown and white. I've been trying to take pictures of him but uh... he hasn't been staying still. I'm putting little Toffee at my grandma's house. =< I can keep it at home but my dad doesn't really fancy animals. He said the fur will make the house dirty. =_= okay la... as long as I have my own kitty. Grandma's cat - whom we call Mimi - you know la old people not so creative with names... well, he isn't really fond of little Toffee's presence. I sensed jealousy. D: But we all still love him! >_< He has been hissing at little Toffee who growled back... -_- Not so friendly there... x.x;

Anyway, will be posting pictures once I manage to make him sit still!! RAWR!!

Just shut up.

Many of you think I'm always free and don't have to worry so much about things. Or there is absolutely no stress at all. Just stop that. Stop. It's frustrating. I know I don't have to fret about assignments and exams. But I do have my own worries and stress. If I'm given a choice, I'd choose to stress over assignments and exams. Why? Because I'm working on my future. And I'm not taking what I said back. I had to pause my own future and watch everybody walk pass me. Do you know how depressing and frustrating that is? If you wish to be me, ye better think properly. Do you want to be sick? You have friends to talk to. I have none. Why? Because I'm home bound most of the time.

Who do I turn to when I want to cry? Who do I turn to when I want to rant? Who do I turn to to share some news? Who do I go to for a hug? No one. Absolutely no friend at all. You're all so busy. With your own things, your life, your friends. And here I am watching. And wishing to be you.Everybody's studying and working. I want to do that too. I want to know... that I'm working on my future. Not pausing it. Sure, I have a great family. I love them dearly but hey, I need someone else other than just a family. I want to go out and see the world, meet different people, experience new things. But that I am limited to.

If you wish to be me, go get yourself hit by a car or swallow a few kilograms of sugar or something... Then you'll be sick/injured. Then you don't have to go school. Nothing to worry about except that you have to go through the pain of needles poke into you and the pain caused by the accident. =)

Ive had enough of your 'Lucky you ho... No need to worry about exams' or 'Wah... so nice stay at home.. I have to go class later la.' FUCK YOU AND FUCK THAT.

Kitty!

I'm supposed to blog about Halloween but later la. Malas... -_- It wasn't something great anyway. =/ Cause it was the night that killed my self esteem. =|


I like this pic~!


We bought a random shirt and made him wear it. He looked angry. .__.


And sick. =_=


But when we took the shirt off he was prancing, jumping, running and playing. =/ We got punked by a kitty. D:

On a side note, do I have this button that says 'use me' or something? My cousin from my dad's side - the one who never contacted me - texted me two days ago, asking how I am. Not that it was a big deal but it was definitely surprising. The second text came and I knew what her motive was when she asked me how I am. I had to edit her assignment. =/ Eleven freaking pages. And she had to hand in the next day. WTF la! Don't give me last minute job la! And it wasn't a minor editing. It was major. =_= her English not that good.　Not that mine is good la. XD Then ah, last night she texted me again! To do another favour... or according to her 'flavor'. This time it wasn't just editing. This time it's to write an introduction/summary regarding her whole assignment. =_= peng.... It's YOUR assignment! Do it yourself! I told her I was busy. =D So annoying. If I do, in the end, she's the one graduating, not me! Doh! I'm not stupid. So sien... she better not give me something to do whenever she has to do report. It's not that I hate her. It's just that she's obviously just using me. You see la... after this, she will never contact me until another report. Boo~! Next time when my dad's side asked me how I am, I think I better answer 'Bo ho. Ai si tiau liao.' [Not good. Almost dying.] =_=

/endrant.
;D
Ciao babeh~!

Unappreciated

Yes, that's what I feel at the moment.I've been helping and yet I do not feel that my help is being appreciated. Not even a thank you. Don't get me wrong. I want nothing in return but at least, make me feel as if I helped. I see others being thanked but not me. Are you taking me for granted? Is our friendship worth nothing now? Am I just a replacement for your friends? Am I only someone who you rant to and then put aside? Am I being too dramatic? What am I to you?

On the bright side, Kym called yesterday. =D All the way from Australia. <3 And went out with Nini. Watched Jennifer's Body. It's alright. A few surprising scenes here and there. Music that gives you suspense. Your typical horror movie. Anyway, still waiting for those Halloween party photos. =\

I know I've been blogging all emo-ish but I can't help it ya know. I just have to let it out. But can anyone hear me? =<

Should I or should I not?

So sien...

These few days I've been feeling so emo. My tiny dot of self esteem disappeared. I've always thought that I'm one ugly girl. Which I am. =\ I've been trying to bring my self esteem up high but I just can't. I keep comparing myself to my friends' and have always thought they are better looking than me.

I don't know how to make up. I don't really know how to dress up because of my size. I feel so fat and heavy all the time. I'm amazed with how certain fat people can doll themselves up and just be themselves ya know. Very impressive. I'm not a social butterfly but I don't stay away from people too. It's easy for me to start a -conversation with someone - a stranger even - but to keep them as a friend or somebody to hang out with, it's difficult. Besides, I tend to stay at the background because I feel so inferior but only when I'm in a huge group. It's just the inferiority that I feel that just kills my social life. It sucks but I just couldn't bring it up. I need help. A support, a comfort but it's just hard to get it from my friends now since they are so busy with their own life and problems. That one person I normally rant to about everything isn't here and that just depresses me. Sometimes I tend to rant to my other close friends but not as much. I need a solution to get over this self esteem problem. To me, I'm always the ugly, fat and the not so smart one. No boys would look at me. No one pays attention to me. I know I sound like an attention whore. XD but hey I'm a human. I need attention from time to time ya know. I know you do too sometimes. It hurts to be ignored or feels as if it doesn't really matter if you're there or not. That's what I exactly feel when I was at the Halloween party. That night just pulls my self esteem down, lower than dirt. =/

I know I'm ranting here but yea, I'll stop emo-ing right now. About the party, I'll talk about it... soon. =D Anyway here are the pictures of that Karaoke day. I know... so lamak then post. Aiyo....


I don't know why I like to take picture of this fellow. =_=


From left to right. Tiny bit of Sharon and Crystal, Wen Haw, Samuel and Dennis.


Lit Yee & Crystal


Me & Sharon camwhoring while they sing.


Jacky ber-peace-ing.


Bryan still doesn't know his picture kena taken.


Peter browsing for more songs.


Dennis in action.


Not sure what's happening here...


Crystal ber-posing.


The table. Itu Jacky punya kaki.


The room. =D

Okay la. That's all. I know all not so clear. =/ I LOST MY CAMERA CABLE! DAMMIT! DDAAMMMIIIITTTT!!

Okay. Bye.